peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Did I show you my penis last night?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
