I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
