oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
