oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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