Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
