No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
