So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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