Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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