Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Congratulations! We have a period
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