Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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