did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
