So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
