A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The beer is more important than you right now.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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