that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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