I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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