I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
