Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
