I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
