it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
