i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
