she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
