So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
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