On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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