I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
even my farts smell like vagina
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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