Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
