I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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