do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
