I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
