He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
