Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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