super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
