is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
