so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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