How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
false alarm. still invincible.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
