There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
