seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
