how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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