I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
