we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
