it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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