I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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