who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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