Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
