Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
All I want is dick and wine.
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