So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
