I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
