nutella sex= disaster
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
