Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
