Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
