My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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