i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
